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Wednesday, March 31st, 2010
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'Polgara the Sorceress' is probably one of the most awful, cobbled, demeaning pieces of writing I have ever read. So much so, that it would be downright slanderous to refer to it as literature. From the outset I was determined not to let the book 'win'. In the end it was sheer bloody-mindedness on my part that forced me to endure 18 hours of racism, bigotry and chauvanism.
I advise the Eddings partnership that their readers are not morons. We do not need to be told six times in as many paragraphs why a particular racial stereotype would force a character into a certain course of action. At best, it is lazy storytelling. At worst, no different from any other form of racist, genderist or theocratical propogandising. For example, were the phrase 'All Arends love intrigue'(and all its variants) omitted entirely, the book would have been reduced by at least a third.
The character Polgara changed personality so frequently during the course of the book that I was sorely tempted to believe that the 'Tolnedran' characters had the right of it in their belief that 'Polgara' was a title, not a singular person.
I was wary when the Eddings', in the guise of Polgara, said 'there may be differences' at the beginning of the tome - a red flag if ever I saw one. They are essentially admitting to writing the script without referencing the other works in the series during the process of creation. My dear Eddings', it simply isn't good enough. A good writer takes the time to fix their errors before publication. That you didn't smacks loudly of laziness and greed. Considering that this book is essentially a repeat of 'Belgarath the Sorcerer', that can hardly be surprising.
Proof-reading was quite obviously not a priority. 'Polgara' was supposedly well-educated, yet extremely poor grammar abounds. "My sister and me" should never come out of the mouth of a woman whose education purportedly spanned several millenia. Such poor use of grammar usually comes out of the mouths of teenagers trying to piss off their English teachers. I am also confused by the fact that one generation of Rivans in Polgara's care apparently managed to fly through 111 years and only age one year. I suggest that if you are determined to use dates that it would pay to at least get the century right.
Choosing to insinuate that anyone who pronounced the 'h' in herb was erroneous most likely alienated most of your English-speaking international audience. Although, given the aformentioned abundance of narrow-minded stereotypes, it is hardly surprising that this problem crops up.
I freely admit to using the fourth wall as my own personal plaything in my comics. However, there is a difference between cheerfully addressing the audience through one of your characters and using that fourth wall as a position from which to gloat. It is childish, boring and highly insulting to your readers. Breaking the fourth wall to give away plot points that can be seen from space is down-right demeaning. We, your audience, are able to read. The size of your book doesn't scare us. This is usually a pretty good indication that not only did we pick up the hint at the beginning of the chapter, but by the time you've gotten around to breaking the fourth wall, we've gotten pretty tired of hearing about it.
The one and only highlight of this travesty for me was the moment when Torak proposed to Polgara on the battlefield. I was treated to an image of the Cat from Red Dwarf rolling by on rollerskates shouting into a megaphone "Attention all lady cats! I am feeling very sexy!". I laughed myself sick. But don't feel too proud Eddings' - the glory here isn't yours. It belongs to Grant and Naylor.
I have only one thing on my mind as I conclude this review and hopefully leave a painful episode in my life behind me. It is addressed to the publishers. Was the script for Polgara the Sorceress submitted in red crayon?
NO STARS
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pissed off.